


My Immortal

by Danaeka



Series: Death Can't Be My Release [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Heavy Angst, Immortal Vanya Hargreeves, Immortality, Klaus Hargreeves and Vanya Hargreeves are Twins, Memories, Old Number Five | The Boy, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya Hargreeves-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danaeka/pseuds/Danaeka
Summary: "Vanya dear… did you ever cry… Because you were afraid to be left alone?"His voice was raspy, deep and held that same caring tone it had held back when they were 13, even in that squeaky tone it had back then, it held the same meaning for her and… She appreciated it."I… Yes I did…"______________Fiveya week 2020, day 1: Memories
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, The Hargreeves Family
Series: Death Can't Be My Release [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866841
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> WE START FIVEYA WEEK! 
> 
> Personally, all my entries are centering on my Immortal Vanya series, some of them are back to back, like a small story. This one in particular is a continuation of Enigma.
> 
> Also, Listed to 'My Immortal' by: Evanescene while reading this.
> 
> Also! This was beta read by: Gumdrop_lou
> 
> ... I uh... Can't link profiles.

Vanya didn't know how much time had passed, she just knew it had been long, and seeing Five in front of her… laying on that cot made her feel old, even if her body told her otherwise.

Vanya didn't look a day over thirty, she was as young as she had been back in 2019 when Five fell out of the sky and into her life like he always used to do, and that was their dynamic for so long as children… That it honestly didn't surprise her when they fell right into it once again.

"... So that was me?" The man besides her asked, looking at an album of photos from their wedding.

Five suffered from amnesia. He developed it very recently, as his years increased and his time with her got shorter… She noticed how he was having a harder time remembering things he knew like the palm of her hand before, like where had he left his keys? His glasses? His ring… His age… His name… his birthday… But never had he forgotten anything of her…

"Yes, that was indeed you" she smiled nostalgically, gripping his hand in hers while taking a deep breath. "We were so happy that day…"

"I bet you looked like an angel, Vanya…" He grinned softly, "what did I do to deserve you, Vanya?"

Vanya looked over at him and smiled sideways. That was a question she used to ask herself so much, but she turned it the other way around.

'What did I do to deserve you?'

"I say the same thing Five…" she laid down on the side of the cot, resting her head on his arm.

"... Tell me a story, Vanya…"

She looked up and nodded, clearing her throat while gripping his hand with hers, the other one cradling the album to flip the pages according to her story.

"Which one baby?"

"Don't call me that… I'm too old."

"Not next to me… And yes… I know… what do you want to hear?"

* * *

_The day was almost on, over them, and Vanya wished she could stop time. Why couldn't Five stop time? He could jump through it, restart it, and maybe make it go by faster. But stop it? No, sir. That was beyond limits._

_Her hair was done, Allison had styled it in a cute, messy braid, that clung itself to her head, while small bits of her locks adorned her face, her eyes could very well remind her of the shadowy look the White Violin naturally gave her eyes, but that look was creepier, this one (done by Klaus) was softer, had a white wing to pop over the black eye shadow, Allison had even convinced her to wear fake eyelashes, and she liked it. Next were her lips, and by her brother's suggestion it was kept a soft, baby pink, and slightly rosy cheeks, her makeup was done._

_And her outfit… Five was the one who suggested she wore a suit, a white one, and she was too pleased to oblige._

_Her suit was probably her favorite thing about her whole look. The pants were high-waisted, with silver buttons to adorn the front, the jacket was a form filter one, her waist was accentuated and she felt comfortable looking at it… She didn't have an undershirt, or a bra, or anything to cover chest other than the already existing jacket and buttons, it was clear she wasn't wearing anything underneath, but then again, who would blame her? Nothing other than her chest front could be seen ("no boobs" "shut it, Klaus")_

_Five has come up with a veil alternative she… Liked, her neck wore it like a choker, she had a white leather necklace that held the veil's fabric stitched to it, and it draped behind her… Like the tail of a dress would and, she loved it._

_Lastly… Her head adornment. Klaus had begged her to wear his tiara, and after many attempts she obliged. She would’ve thought she’d hate the idea, how feminine it would look, not her taste, but Klaus had known how just which one of his tiaras was the correct one for her, and her reflection showed her that._

* * *

Vanya felt Five squeeze her hand while she finished that part of her story, she looked down and caressed his hand, hers looked so small on his and looked stronger than his… she kept her gaze on his, encouraging him to talk.

“Vanya, I think I remember…"

"I know you do Five… Those are your memories and you aren't losing them. You just need to dig deeper…"

* * *

_"Oh Vanya… You look stunning!"_

_Turning she saw her 'bride's maid' Klaus in a dress… He honestly pulled it off better than she could've ever done it. His left hand went to cover his face while he blew himself some air with the right one. Allison walked in as well, holding the hand of a very happy flower boy, it was the son of Allison and Luther, a pretty, darked skinned boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was an eye catcher for sure._

_"You look so pretty auntie Vanya!" The boy ran to her while holding the small basket in his hands, he spilled a few petals on the floor, petals that Claire was quick to pick up and place back in the basket. Her smile was soft._

_And yet… Her mind showed sadness all of the sudden…_

_They were all (minus Five) officially 46, Vanya hadn't aged one bit, while now she could see the gray hairs on Allison's head._

_Oh how times had changed._

_"You look beautiful Auntie, just please, don't step on the veil..." Claire gave her the thumbs up while going out to meet with her girlfriend, who just happened to provide the ring girl._

* * *

"At that moment all our siblings had gray hairs, Allison pulled them off quite nicely"

It was meant as a joke, a small bit of something that would clear the somber atmosphere the room had suddenly gotten when she mentioned that detail, how his hand had gripped hers a bit too strong for her liking, how his breathing shifted just a little too much for her own good… His eyes told her everything.

Vanya had seen a small look of grief cross Five's gaze, and before she could ask, he explained so himself…

"Vanya dear… did you ever cry… Because you were afraid to be left alone?"

His voice was raspy, deep and held that same caring tone it had held back when they were 13, even in that squeaky tone it had back then, it held the same meaning for her and… She appreciated it.

"I… Yes I did…"

* * *

_"Vanya!"_

_It has been a normal day, as normal as a funeral could be, once again she had played her violin, it was the last one of the oldest… Five was so close… So close, he was already 58… He was so, so close to leaving her too, he kept managing to go back in time, a few years at first, later months… later weeks… later days… hours and now he couldn't even space jump._

_He kept doing it so she could have more time with him. Because no matter how much time has passed She still looked 29! Not a day over 30!_

_It was unfair, everyone was together, Ben was not alone anymore! And now she was about to be forgotten. How would she know? Without Klaus? Her fucking twin had died too!_

_"WHAT?!"_

_Her rage was over the roof, she was mad, she was going to be left alone one in for all, the only person she might've been able to keep a life with, since he also seemed to not be affected by human timepass was her dad, and he had killed himself over eighty years ago…_

_"Vanya! You're not alone! Not now! Please calm down!"_

_Her head… It was throbbing, she was mad, she was sad and angry with life! All of it was slipping away from her! Right between her fingers! Her whole family, her reason to keep living was gone…_

_And life just wouldn't grant her that one wish…_

_"But I will be! How long?! Just how long, Five?!" Her sobs were quick to follow. "Look at you! You're gonna leave me soon!"_

* * *

Five's eyes started to look more unfocused by the second. She knew the sand was almost gone, it was the last inch or so, she was running out of time with her husband. Her hold trembled, her eyes blurred with tears she pushed down, as this was not the time to cry.

"I was so afraid of being alone… Of being truly alone… After that horrible accident Five, everyone died…"

* * *

_They'd been out on a trip, Vanya was driving, Five besides her, her family at the back… When a truck appeared out of nowhere..._

_"But now's not the time! Is it?! I'm here Vanya! Here!"_

_He got closer to her, her whole body trembled, she was so weak, broken and mangled right now that at the moment he took hold of her in his arms she fell down broken in them. She fell down completely sad, in despair. His hands caressed her head, his fingers tangling her locks of hair, all the while his voice kept cooing in her ear._

_"Vanya… No matter how much time has passed, you still have your memories of us, small things here in our home that will remind you of us…"_

_Her gaze lifted, locking with his._

_"I love you Vanya, I hate to think how you must feel, but please know that, while we might not be able to fix this, I won't be able to stay with you, I trust we all are here."_

_Her eyes filled with tears. Hiding her face in his damp shirt she continued to sob harder and harder, until only her wails could be heard._

_"We're all here Vanya… You may not see us, but please remember, you have your memories."_

* * *

Finally, his eyes closed and with his last, shaky and weak breath he managed to squeak out…

"I love you… Vanya…"

The flat line was her signal, he was gone, she kissed him one last time while the nurses hurried to get her out of the room… And she knew she was not seeing, hearing or feeling his heartbeat again. He was gone… so before the nurses told her what had happened, she left the hospital. Knowing he was finally where he belonged helped her a great deal.

But once again, _they_ got to see each other again, _they_ got to be together, _they_ got to rest of the burden their whole life had become…

 _Them_ … Not _her_ …

She was the only one left.

She didn't know why she made her way to her old apartment. Why she climbed the stairs instead of taking the elevator, she didn't understand how she hoped to see a young Five mocking her and her (lack of) window locks…

The old, dusty and most importantly, empty apartment greeted her… She knew they were all watching her, she knew, they were following her around…

Vanya knew… And Vanya didn't care.

She grabbed the bottle of vodka she bought on the way home and gulped down a good part of it… took a knife out of her kitchen while using a rock to sharpen it. She knew they were all trying to stop her, Five was probably begging.

And she wanted to talk to them…

The bottle was empty after five minutes or so, her stomach burned with pain of being subjected to such strong alcohol while not having any food inside… But she didn't care, she wanted to be with her family, she wanted to have someone…

So, as she lifted her wrist and placed the knife against her skin she felt no remorse as she used her to push whoever was trying to get inside her out of her body... figuring out what was happening and that probably everyone was going to try she quickly slashed her wrist, as her eyes closed she could see the blurry silhouettes of her siblings, Five was actually very close to her face.

And yet she couldn't bring herself to be happy… Why?

This was all temporary. Her body was already healing up, she had at best two hours, and then it was back to the land of the living…

Back to being alone…

As she was going to be from now on.

Because everyone had gone to bed, and only she remained awake, waiting for Five as when they were kids, only this time, she knew he wasn't returning…

**Author's Note:**

> Tissues?


End file.
